pUNK tUBA

Punk Tuba. Never really caught on, did it? I think it's a shame. I would have liked to have seen that.
"LISTEN UP, MOTHERFUCKERS!!! ONE, TWO THREE, FOUR...." Brrb BBRrrb BRB BBRRP...
"MY SPIT VALVE IS FULL OF WHISKEY!!!" BrrBP BrrbB BRRB...
I wonder why it never happened. Probably the stage diving.
"HOLY SHIT!!!!!!" Brrpb BRRrp BRrp...CRASH!
A tuba will really fuck with your mohawk if it lands on you.

Marching bands are fucked up, man.
"Okay people, we're going to play this next number as we form the shape of a bear's penis. Here we go..." LOUIE LOUIE, OH YEAH, WE GOTTA GO, YEAH YEAH...
"Woodwinds! You're the scrotum!" LOUIE LOUIE, OH YEAH...
"This next one's called 'I wish my acne was pussy' One, Two, Three, Four..."
Brrpb BRRB BrrpB...

Skip to my Lou.

I was just thinking about skipping. Why do kids skip? When do we stop skipping? When does skipping become inappropriate? At what age, I mean? And who the hell is Lou, anyway!?!? Wouldn't it be cool if we still skipped as adults? Just on our way to work in a full skip, "La La La..."

What if a policeman were chasing a bad guy and they were both skipping? Can you go faster skipping rather than running? Hmmm...

"This is officer 5463--I'm in pursuit of a white male skipping south on Broadway! I need backup!"

Two more officers join in the skip...WOO WOO WOO WOO (sirens)

That's it! I'm bringing back skipping. It's a movement. I'm starting a movement. People will say, "Get out of my shop you lousy skippers!"

and I'd be all, "Settle down old man! I'll cut you!"